Nettie and Her Girls

Today I received a picture in the mail of a lady and her three young girls. I was astounded at how beautiful they all were. When I knew them, the mother was in her mid-sixties and the girls were probably in their forties. I was in college at the time and I didn’t think much about their ages. I just knew that they were all much older and wiser than I was. The mother’s name was Nettie. Nettie had suffered a stroke in her early forties, leaving her whole right side paralyzed. At some point after that they had decided to have college girls stay with her to help her with chores in return for room and board. I arrived in the fall of 1962 as a junior in college. I lived with Nettie for the last two years of college as well as the summer after I graduated in June of 1964.

As a result, I got to know two of the daughters quite well. Doris lived near her mother and taught in a local elementary school, and Opal lived in a town about twenty-five miles away and taught at a community college. The third daughter, Ardith, lived in Florida. Although I met her, I really never got to know her.

Nettie (whom I always called Mrs. Lee) was an amazing woman. Although she had no use of her right hand and had to wear a brace on her right leg in order to stand and walk, she cooked lunch for her daughter, her son-in-law, and me every day of the week. She always cooked enough so that she and I would have left-overs for dinner. I learned a lot about being frugal from her meal-planning, but it was later that I realized how much effort it must have taken for her to cook all those meals. Mrs. Lee died just a few months before my older daughter was born, and I always regretted that she did not get to see my first child.

Recently I learned something about Nettie and her three daughters that I had never known before. They all went to Detroit, Michigan, during World War II and worked in an airplane factory. According to the oldest daughter, Opal, it was her youngest sister Doris, who is now deceased, who decided that she wanted to go to Michigan and work.

Along with thousands of other women, they learned that women could work in many fields that they would never have thought of before the war. Also, like most other women, they seldom spoke of those years. I would have thought that during the many conversations I had with Doris, she might have mentioned her work in the airplane factory at some time, but she didn’t. She was a wonderful first grade teacher for many years. Several years after I graduated, she became Dean of Women at the college where I had attended.  I always admired her. Now that I know more of her story, I admire her even more.

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The Soldier Prays for Peace

“The soldier above all others prays for peace, for it is the soldier who must suffer and bear the deepest wounds and scars of war.”—Gen. Douglas McArthur

As I did research for my fourth novel, I realized that even though I was born right in the middle of World War II, I had been almost entirely shielded from the horrors that many had faced. My dad worked in the shipyards in Baltimore the year I was born, and I knew that sugar and gasoline had been rationed for a while because my mother had kept the rationing stamps. Other than that, my life had been protected from any knowledge of the war. But what if the bombs had been dropped all around me as they had been for those families in London and Paris (and many other places)? As I read about those who had seen unspeakable acts of brutality and violence, I realized how fortunate I have been.

The reality is that war is happening somewhere all the time, and with 24-hour news coverage and constant social media discussions, we hear about it every single day. If we are not careful we just become immune to the horrors of war. Every president has to deal with tensions around the world and how the U.S will relate to them. Often a president will make a decision that seems reasonable to most people, and later we realize that it may have been the wrong one. That just happens. If we really look at the results of bombs and other weapons upon any country, though, we know that many innocent people are always killed in any war. It’s usually not the presidents or the other decision-makers. It’s the young soldiers, the ordinary citizens going about their daily tasks, the mothers, and the young children.

The rationale for war is often that it saves the lives of many while some lives are lost. We should never be too critical of our leaders because sometimes war may be unavoidable, and most of us don’t have the facts needed to make these decisions. However, our leaders have the responsibility of studying all the options. I believe that it is ALWAYS better to find a diplomatic solution if there is one. Not everyone agrees with that. Often leaders who seek peaceful solutions are considered weak and ineffective, because some want leaders who look and act tough. The leaders who have had the most influence on me, however, are those that are good listeners. They set high standards by the way they live, not by the use of force.

Whether it is World War II, the Vietnam War, or the war in Iraq, war always kills many innocent men, women and children. We are extremely fortunate that we have not seen its devastation on our soil in our lifetime. As we look at our options when other countries threaten our safety, our goal should always be a peaceful solution.

Sometimes our country has to make decisions about citizens who flee their  countries because of war. This presents other difficult questions. Obviously we cannot solve all the world’s problems, but sometimes we can help those who need help so badly. My church was involved in helping some refugees from both Vietnam and Iraq when they were in danger. What I learned is that most people are alike. They just want a safe place to live their lives. I haven’t kept up with those we sponsored from Vietnam, but those from Iraq (Kurdistan) have become lifelong friends, and they have contributed immensely to our community. A few months ago we celebrated their twentieth anniversary here by having a meal and a short program, remembering our first days together. Some of them have married, had children, and worked nearly twenty years in our community. It was a great celebration of our friendship.

The most recent conversation regarding refugees has centered around those from Syria. I haven’t been involved with any of these refugees, but I listened to an activist named Lena Arkawi, who is particularly concerned about the Syrian refugees because her parents were born there. Ms. Arkawi was born and raised in Arizona. When she was asked about her purpose as an activist, she said that she just didn’t want people to become numb to the pain of these Syrian children. If you’d like to listen to her story, it was on a program called “Uncomfortable,” which offers conversations with influential people about issues which divide Americans. You can find it here:

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/activist-americans-growing-numb-plight-syrian-refugees/story?id=50832980

I found this picture of three children who are refugees from Syria on the World Vision website.

More information about the refugee crisis can be found here:  https://www.worldvision.org/refugees-news-stories/syria-refugee-crisis-war-facts

When I hear stories about these refugees, I am reminded of how fortunate I am to have lived in a country where I haven’t had to face the horrors of war. I did nothing to deserve this kind of good fortune. I realize that because I have been given much, much is expected of me. I also realize that war is born of hatred and division, not love and unity. Our country today has become very divided, with little evidence of a desire for peace, and this concerns me. I believe that “Love never fails,” but it’s easy to become burdened down by circumstances. Right now, I am watching our young people. Their willingness to engage in meaningful dialogue and their concern for others is inspiring. I encourage you to watch and listen to them too. In closing, I will quote Martin Luther King, Jr.: “I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality... I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word.”

Merrill J. Davies, Writer, Facebook Page: http://on.fb.me/1HHkUXf

Goodreads Page:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6525216.Merrill_J_Davies

Blog:  http://merrillblogs.blogspot.com/

Web Site: http://www.merrilldavies.com/

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/MERRILLDAVIES

Amazon Author Page http://amazon.com/author/merrilljdavies

MY Email:  Merrill@merrilldavies.com